Yesterday before bed, I had a fun time with my children. We switched roles, pretending to be each other:
Timothy, the mummy: Faster go brush your teeth now or I get the “sar tan” (aka cane)
Emily, the Timothy: It is Transformers, not transform us. *with angry expression*
Mummy, the Emily: Don’t touch me, go away. *whining sound*
I shall go no further otherwise all our secrets will get out.
We had a good laugh. We also acted out how the other person actions. It is really a good way to see ourselves in their eyes and let them see themselves too. You can try it at home with older kids.
I created a way to discipline my children by themselves. I told them during Christmas each will receive a present. The size of the present will depends on how good they are. When they are naughty, don’t listen to me or disobedient, I will start to put 2 hands apart and shrink, saying your present is getting smaller..*tit* *tit* *tit*. Instantly they will obey or listen.
Of coz, when they are good by doing things on their own, I will say “your present is growing bigger, bigger, bigger….oooh mummy cannot carry”. They will be very happy and excited. Emily would say, “Quick ask papa to carry!” Let’s hope this will lasts till Christmas.
With these 2 children of mine, I can set up a laundry business. Maybe not. Every time when my hubby or I take in the laundry, my children will volunteer to help fold clothes. They can fold their own clothes, of coz not to perfection. I often have to fix some that are jotting out. I am sure they treat this as a play thing for them.
“Mummy first make it flat on the floor. Beat Beat Beat till it is really flat. Then fold and fold and fold”
Who is complaining right? As long as I get all the clothes fold. It is good to teach the children to do little house chores. You can use fun way to teach them. At this age, whatever we asked them to do, they think it is fun.
They are very happy to water the plants, wash the car, put the laundry into the machine, mop the floor, wipe the table after meal and sweep the floor. Next my hubby is going to teach them how to wash their own school shoes.
Oh, Emily requested that I buy her a toy iron so that she can help me iron.
This is the second time I saying this, “Who needs a maid when I have them?”
I read an article in a health magazine stating that statistics show that after having children, parents reduce the time for exercise. Many will abandon their exercise program due to limited time and fatigue after taking care of their young ones.
It is so true. I am not blaming my children for lack of exercise but my poor time management. I have lots to do but little time spent on exercise. I remembered that I used to go hiking up the Bukit Jambul hill after work. Now I am not sure whether I have the stamina to do that. I need to set aside time for exercise. A good tip is to bring the children along for exercise. It will be fun like walk in the park, play some football kicking and go for a run with the children.
Next thing that the children may cause us to be unhealthy would be encouraging us to eat in fast food chain. Fast food is usually high in carbohydrate, sugar and fat. It is also unhealthy for the children. Most of the time, my children like to go there because of the toy. Maybe I should psycho them in giving them a toy, if they finished their vegetables.
Of course there are the junk foods, the ice-cream, the cheese cakes, carbonated drinks and the list goes on.
Lastly, for some it is the baby fat that is hard to get rid off after having children. Let me tell you that most people have the wrong concept that pregnant woman needs to eat for 2. However the doctor will advise you otherwise. But who can resist the cravings that are caused by our hormones? The secret in getting rid of those baby fat and you don’t even need to go for those expensive sliming or diet or what not program is breastfeeding. Ask any breastfeeding mom, they will attest to it.
Do you think your children have made you unhealthy? Share it in the comment box.
Wen posted The Day Has Come with regards to her children asking her how they were made.
My children asked me the same thing. Mummy, how was I made? They asked that when we talked about things before they were born. How did I tackle this question? I told them they were swimming inside my body. Swimming until it was time for them to become a baby. They were excited because they like swimming (or playing with water)
Tim: I come out of your body and I do what?
Mummy: Doc whacked your buttock and you cry.
Tim: Why doctor whacked me?
Mummy: When you cry, you can breathe.
Emily: Mummy, when I was in your body, I eat ice-cream when you eat ice-cream?
Mummy: Yes, when I eat, you eat.
Emily trying to be cute: Mummy, when you eat chips, I swim in your body and catch the chips. Then I go munch munch munch…
Mummy: &
Anyway a good way to explain to them is to show them pictures. Pictures paint a thousand words. I wonder what I will say when they start to ask about the birds and the bees.
How do you teach your child responsibility at the age of 4 and 6? When your child asked for a pet, do you buy for them? If they do not know how to take care of the pet, you will be the one doing most of the work. So how does a parent teach a child responsibility at this you age? Oh well, we have to start some where.
Let me tell you how. I learnt this from Emily’s kindy. One day she came home with a plant. She told me that her teacher thought the class how to plant a seed. She was very happy that it grew into a plant.
Here is an idea of teaching your child how to take care of the plant. Teaching them to plant a seed and water it. All you need is some cotton, a small container, some green or red bean and water. Soak the cotton wet and put it in the container. Put the seed in the cotton. Let your child do it. You child can watch it grow day by day. She can water the plant day by day. You can transfer the plant into a pot with soil. Who know, later it will bear more beans. Add more beans to it, you can make sweet bean soup. Ok I got carried away.
Emily is very eager to water the plant every day and it certainly make her happy to see it grow. After all, it was her that planted the seed that turned into a plant. Actually the one she planted in school died because the brother pulled it out of the soil. I planted in the garden and one morning she couldn’t find it. Tim was being helpful, pull it out for her to see. I had to plant another one for Emily.
One day Timothy came back from school to tell me that teacher told him not to share food with other student. My son was very confused because I always teach him to share things with people. He is a generous boy as long as it is not sharing with his sister.
Anyway, I prompted for more answers and suddenly it clicked. In fact when I was in primary one I was also scolded by the teacher for the same thing. It is quite funny actually.
Every morning, Timothy will bring some food to school for breakfast like pau, cakes, biscuit, coco crunch etc. Some of his friends will come to him and eat his food. The problem is some of the food he brought to school is non-halal and he got into trouble. However the teacher should have explained to him in a way that he understands.
Yesterday, I explained to him that malay children can only eat halal food. He asked me what halal food means. I took the milo tin and show him the halal sign. I told him if it has this sign, the food is halal. A very simple explanation. Boys, they need visual aid to help them understand.
Next Emily took some biscuits and she told me she wants to give to her 3 good friends, Farah, Yong Chun & Hogan. I was afraid that Farah is a malay and the biscuits do not have any halal sign. I told her to ask her teacher.
So what my story in primary one? My mom cooked minced pork baked beans and rice for me to bring to school. A friend of mine saw me eating, she told me that she would want some. I shared with her not knowing that she is not allowed to eat it. She said my mom’s cooking was delicious. I bet she told her mother and next morning I was called to the teacher’s table and got scolded. At that time, I didn’t understand what I did wrong. No one actually explained to me.
Lesson to be shared to all moms, do teach your child what halal means so that they don’t get scolded for no reason.
Timothy has progress tremendously in his development in the academic world. Such big word for small fellow. In his previous Kindy, he didn’t utter a word to his friends or teachers. I guess he was having fear of fierce teachers. The teachers could do anything to get him to read, participate or even speak. The teachers looked to me and complained everyday about him.
Ever since he moved to the current Tadika (run by my church) with friendly helpful teachers, he made progression. The reading report book changed from “cannot read” to “able to read with guidance” to “able to read softly” to “reading twice” Now he can read Peter & Jane series.
Peter & Jane series are a good series for your child to learn reading. Words are repeated and simple. They start with recognizing “The”, “a”, “here”, “and”, “I”,..etc.
As for Emily, gals being gals mature faster. She now can read 1a, 1b and trying out 2b. If you want to start your child with reading, go get the Peter & Jane series. Now anyone knows whether there is a malay version of Peter & Jane. I need to teach my children Bahasa Malaysia.
We parents need to discipline our children and there are many ways of doing it besides caning. I know there are a few parents who object to beating. Everyone has their style, there is no wrong or right as long as your child learns discipline. I believed that controlled beating is alright. I only whack my children once at the palm of the hand or leg area. Only one time and nothing more.
Importantly caning must not be done:
1. When you are angry. It can become abuse if you are not careful. You need to calm down first and in your right mind, explaining to the child what he/she does wrong.
2. When the child is screaming because at that moment, he/she do not understand the caning.
3. When the child is too young, below 3. She/He will not understand at all.
Oh well, I am not an expert in the above area so I leave it at that.
We parents have to be creative, we cannot whack them all the time. I usually whack when a serious wrong is committed. Actually pst pst..I don’t do the whacking, the father does. So I am the good guy.
Today Emily was supposed to nap and she didn’t. We were supposed to go swimming now as I speak. Where is she? Napping. Dad bought Timothy to go swimming and Emily’s punishment is no go. When she wakes up, she will be unhappy. Oh well, I am not nasty or anything. Bottom line is she will learn that next time when we asked her to nap, she will nap or else she will miss out the good stuff.
In general, I want to find out from you parents, will you cane your child?
TV: Now walk forward. Tim: What is forward? Mummy: Walking towards me. Tim: One, Two, Three, Four, Five-ward?
My children questions are getting more difficult for me to explain. It is not that I do not have an answer but I must answer so that they can understand using simple words. If not, more questions will come my way. For example:
Emily: Why his skin brown color? Mummy: Because God color his skin brown. Emily: What did God color his skin brown and not peach color? Mummy: Because God makes some people with skin peach and some people with skin brown and some with other colors. Emily: Why God want to do that?
….it never ends…
By the way, if your child makes a mistake, do not say “This is wrong” but say “You can do better, let me show you how.” If your child scribbles when you asked him to draw a picture, do not say “What an ugly picture”. If you do, I bet that will be the last picture you will see him draw. Pick something from the scribbles and say “Hey that looks like an oval or circle.” What we say means a lot to children and what we say either motivate them or put them off.
I have heard from many mothers that, after they wean their child from the bottle, the milk intake decreases. I would rather have my child maintain the milk intake and let her have the bottle. Milk helps them to build stronger bones and it has most of the nutrition they need. You may not see the effects now but when they grow old the bone density drop. You hear many elderly people have osteoporosis problem, right?
Calcium is not easily absorbed when you are an adult. Children body can absorb more efficiently compare to an adult. When children get enough calcium, the can start their adult lives with stronger bones
If you are thinking of weaning your child from bottle too early, think again. Emily still enjoyed her bottle and she been drinking 8-9oz at least twice a day. She can drink from the cup but she prefers the bottle. Other source of calcium is ice-ream, cheese, tofu, yogurt, beans, broccoli and anchovies.
A lot of mothers, especially new mothers have lots of worries. That’s the reason why we are very forgetful at times. I know I had 101 worries when I was carrying my son. However many of those problems are a passing phase, which means the problem can correct itself eventually or can be corrected. At that moment, it may seem to be a big issue but it is not.
What are my children’s passing phases that they have outgrew them?
1. At baby stage, Tim’s head was not symmetrical and one sided.
Before:
After:
2. At baby stage, Tim wakes up every 3-4 hours until age 2.
3. At baby stage, Emily had bad rash on her face.
4. Tim refuse to drink milk at age 1+, I had to spoon feed him until 2.
5. At age of 2, Tim still was speaking baby language.
6. Emily refused to call “mummy”.
7. Toddler age, both Tim & Emily doesn’t like to eat. Tim improved after he went to nursery and Emily improved after age of 2.5+.
8. Constipation problem.
I am sure you can add to this list. A word of advice to all, it will be a passing phase, so why worry. Have a fun journey free from worry!
Yesterday, I bet most of you heard a piece of sad news where this UPSR gal hangs herself because she could not achieve excellent results. Hey her results were better than mine. What is going on with the education system or was it the parent’s high expectation on their children? I must say that a lot of parents are pushing their children too hard. I am always very worried when I hear parents sending children to tuition at a young age like 6 or 7 years old. Isn’t that a bit too much?
Let me tell you, I never get great results during my school day, not that I cannot. I am those who score enough to get to the next stage. However I had lots of fun during my school days participating in other sports or recreation activities, knowing lots of friends from other schools. At the end of the day, when someone comes out to work, does anyone care what your good results were?
I hope I am able to control myself from pressuring my children and let them have a happy life instead. I wished they can do well to proceed to the next stage and spend precious time in exploring God’s creation.
Home safety is very important especially when there are children in the house. We have to ensure that all medicines, vitamins, drugs and non edible liquid out of children reach. When children reach an age where they can understand, it is important to educate the children. My children know what can eat and what cannot.
Furniture such as tv stands, display cabinet or side tables around the house must be stable. Children love to run around, it is better not have too many breakable items around the house. Let’s keep our home safe for the children.
Stroller is a greatest invention for parents, if not at least for me. I trained my children from baby to sit in a stroller. In most case, they will sit in the stroller for a short period of time and later they will want to come up. The trick is when they want to get up, I will attract them with stuff like food or toys to keep them for another 30 minutes or so. After a while, they sit in the stroller throughout. I got to a point where Tim and Emily fight for the stroller.
With stroller, I can take 2 children to shopping on my own. Tim usually walks and Emily sits on the stroller. I don’t have a maid to escort me to shopping. If I carry Emily, I can only walk for 10 minutes and I feel tired. I rather not shop.
I feel more secure with Emily on the stroller. I am always afraid of children running around the crowded mall. They may bump into something or get lost. If they want to run, best to do it in the park.
By the way, with stroller I can shop with Emily for hours and hours. If she gets tired, she sleeps in it.
As I passed through toys stores, this generation children have good life or pampered should I say? They are so many different types of toys out there for them to choose from. Often I am asked, hey you got two children, do you buy 2 of the same toys? I used to do that but it is better for me to teach my children to share.
Yeah it is a challenge because I have tough children. Each child has this illusion thinking that all toys that mummy buys belongs to him or her. Try and break the illusion, you will be faced with a scream or a loud cried.
I used the 5 minutes rule. Each gets to play 5 minutes of the toy and pass to the other person. He plays 5 minutes and she plays 5 minutes. Each takes his or her 5 minutes turn. If they fight for the same toy, often I will take the toy away.
I am glad I have 2, if I have 5 or more, I cannot be buying 5 of the same toy. Best way is to teach your children to share.
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